For the Love of Family: A Professional Caregiver’s Story                    
            Vickie Glass had been a Registered Nurse (RN) for over 20 years when she found herself in the role of a family caregiver.  A role that one-in-five American’s assume and she, like so many others, had no idea how it would impact her personal and professional life.
           “When you become a nurse you take control of patients, when you care for a loved one you lose that control,” Vickie said.  Because of her vast experience in hospitals and home care she thought that caring for her husband would be easy; she learned otherwise.  “Now I know what family caregivers go through.”
                Her world changed in 2004 when her husband, Vernon, was diagnosed with Hepatitis C.  Vickie was constantly on the internet learning everything she could about the virus, the treatments, its effects and possible outcomes.
            For four years his health progressively declined.  His treatment included an anti-viral medication, which was similar to chemo-therapy and hopefully would have destroyed the virus.  The procedure failed and the treatment caused a side effect known as ‘drop-leg’, (damage to the sciatic nerve) that required more medications and a leg brace.  These set backs caused his first struggle with depression.  She too suffered depression due to the helplessness.  “The feeling of helplessness is the worst thing,” she said.  “You know what is happening, but can’t do anything about it.”
            Combining work and caring for Vernon took a toll on Vickie.  The side effects of the drugs made Vernon a different person, and because he wasn’t getting any better it created an atmosphere of anger and suspicion.  True to her training as a nurse, she tried to lift Vernon’s spirits, while neglecting her own.  Self-denial is a common side effect of being a family caregiver, causing them to suffer enormous stress.
           In early 2008 Vernon’s liver failed and he needed a transplant.  As a professional Vickie knew that all they could do was wait for their turn on the transplant list.  For seven months they waited.  Finally their miracle arrived in  August 2008 and the transplant operation was     preformed.
            Initially the operation seemed successful.  Vernon’s role in his recovery was to properly follow a regimen of anti-rejection medications for the rest of his life.  The initial euphoria was quickly replaced with anger as Vernon never felt well enough to return to work.  This, coupled with the development of diabetes and kidney failure, led him into a deep depression.
            The combination of events changed Vernon’s mental outlook, as Vickie and her youngest son noted, he was a changed man.  Vickie suspected that Vernon was not taking his medications as prescribed and challenged him.  He would say, ‘I’m going to take them’, but never would.  This behavior would have severe consequences.
           Being a nurse Vickie had seen patients who did not follow their doctor’s advice.  She observed COPD patients with cigarettes on their night stand and diabetics eating sugar cookies; but she never expected an educated man like Vernon to not follow his care plan.  Harsh words were exchanged as she tried to convince him to do what was in his own best interest.  When that didn’t work the helplessness almost overwhelmed her.
              In June 2009, Vernon’s body rejected the liver transplant and he passed away in September.  Vickie has second guessed herself and everything she did ever since then.  In hindsight, she suggests to all family caregivers, “to listen with a deaf ear, what the person is saying is the disease, not them.  You know that is much easier said than done, but in the end (if you don’t) you will wish you had.”  One can second guess themselves forever and never have the right answer.  In the end Vickie’s last piece of advice is the best:

“Say I love you more.”    

For The Love of the Job

                   Antoinette Murphy decided to become a lawyer after high school, but prior to entering her first year of college she volunteered at Hanvey Manor (nursing home).  There she observed the Occupational and Certified Occupational Therapists Assistants perform magic.  Residents who were unable to dress or feed themselves would, through therapy, regain full motion to be once again fully functional and self-sufficient.
           After receiving her degree and license as a Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant she took her first job in the field.  Antoinette could have gone on to obtain a masters as an Occupational Therapist, but didn’t because she liked the hands on work she does at her level.
           Antoinette has seen many things over the 22 years she has been a therapist, but the most memorable learning experience was early in her career.  It would set the tone of her behavior toward patients.  She was completing therapy on the last patient of a busy day.  All she wanted to do was finish the paper work and put up her feet at home.  The patient called for her to come into his room.  Antoinette was a bit annoyed; after all, all she wanted to do was finish her day.          
           Being the person she was, the type who as a young lady volunteers to work at a nursing home, went into the man’s room to see what he needed.  This patient was a quadriplegic who needed his nose scratched.  The impact struck immediately, her position was vital to the quality of people’s lives.  She was humbled by the thought of how little things mean so much to her patients.
           Over the years this incident has stayed with her and even when patients become annoyed or argumentative she has a better understanding of their needs.  It isn’t what makes her a compassionate caregiver; but reinforces the need for her compassion every day.
           Antoinette works full time at a nursing home, then several evenings a week as a home therapist.  On this evening she provided therapy to a senior patient.  She likes working with seniors the best.  “Working with children is very slow and progress is marked in months to years.  With senior’s you see results in weeks or days,” Antoinette said.  That type of reinforcement keeps her spirits high.  You can become depressed working and seeing no results.                 
           Working with dementia patients presents its own set of problems.  Depending on the stage and cause of the dementia it is an ever changing and evolving process.  Antoinette hates it when she sees other caregivers, whether professional or family, rebuke dementia patients for not seeing reality.  Many, especially family members, think they are helping the patient to see what they’re doing and get a grip on life by pointing out their misspoken words or deeds.  But Antoinette understands that it isn’t the patient talking, but the disease.
           At the end of this day she completes working with this woman in her home and as Antoinette leaves, hugs her.  One last bit of compassion toward her patients.  After she has left the patient says, “She’s one of the good ones, you could tell the first time she walked in the door.”
           Antoinette Murphy works long hard days, but does so willingly and happily.  As she said, “I do this for the love of the job.  Employers can do without me, but the patients can’t.”